My “social network” feeds… You know, that phrase doesn’t make sense. My “advertising network” feeds (that’s better) sprinkle little motivational memes throughout the day. At first I thought friends were doing this but as I’ve looked closer, most of the content on my feed is delivered by algorithms sharing suggested people to follow and not even friends. I assume, to displace my friends messages even further.

Just trying to write all of this reminds me of how clunky internet culture and systems are when it comes to nomenclature. It’s almost impossible to digest because everything is named so poorly. A lot of the elements of the internet seemed to have been named when the expectation was high that they operated in a public or social interest. Some useful purpose of the technology that has been lost. To be fair, they work really well as an obituary service. Deaths seem to make it through the algorithm most of the time. Baby and marriage announcements are spotty.

To summarize my point. The internet machine, shares motivational posts from people I don’t know, who likely were given these memes in their own feeds. Sometimes people I actually know, also share these same memes. The memes are motivational, do more, travel more, eat more, fitness more, love more, and then sometimes they tell you to take a break and to not judge yourself. I’m assuming these memes are highlighted by the algorithm because most changes require a purchase, and when paired with advertising for shoes, events, gyms, food, makeup, boner pills, it helps seal the deal. When you share these messages, you’re doing the pain reminding work of selling.

Sales in a nutshell – highlight and emphasize pain until the entity recognizes they need relief. Tell them the solution which not only solves but promises a better future altogether. These memes are just the pain piece, the advertisers have the fix in the queue already.

I’m not exempt from marketing, nobody is. I try my best to look at a pitched future and just say “that would be nice” and move on. The last boner pills I saw advertised promised to work in 15 minutes and last 36 hours. 36 hours of hair trigger boners, I can’t even imagine the horror.

I’ve been going to the gym for 2 years. A friend asked me to do some long distance runs so for the past year I’ve been long-distance running a bit. I learned to row (sculling and sweeping, 4 and 8 person boats) over the summer. Me and my partner lost a car and decided to stick with one. I try to ride my bike most places in the warmer months. Two years ago I weighed 265 pounds, today I way 260 pounds. They tell me I’ve gained muscle and lost fat but it’s not all that recognizable.

There was a point in my life where it was easy to put socks and shoes on my feet. I didn’t have to hold my breath as I bent forward. My feet were much closer to my hands. I didn’t concern myself with the strain or fear of heart attack or stroke during these what used to not be painful contortions. This is what motivated me to go to the gym. The gym is $400 a month. For nearly $10,000 I’ve been trying to improve my ability to put my socks and shoes on.

I tell myself we’re getting there.

I scour my advertising feeds for a product or motivational message that will help.

That’s where I saw that you passed away.